I found this funny list Jack Kolb posted of definitions for tourists - thanks Jack!
............ TERM ................................. TRANSLATION
Old world charm ................................. No bath
Tropical ............................................. Rainy
Majestic setting ................................. A long way from town
Options galore .................. Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway ...................... Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms .......................... Already occupied
Explore on your own ........................... Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees ..................................... No extras
Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge
Standard ........................................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .............................................. Standard
Superior ............................................ One free shower cap
All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps
Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes ...................... Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ..................................... No air conditioning
Picturesque ....................................... Theme park nearby
Open bar ........................................... Free ice cubes
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